Both

I don't know how I must react. When I knew that he already has girlfriend, really, I'm happy. But, at the same time, I'm sad. Don't know if I sad because he already became couple, or because he will not have so many time to me anymore.

Actually, I know from beginning. I will never be a girlfriend to him. And I never want to like him. Since I know the feeling make our relationship become awkward. I always want to throw my feeling to him, so I can spend my time calm as usual. Because that, I want to thank his girlfriend. To make me throw my feelings necessary, because it was the only way to throw it since I can't do it myself.

I still have something to him. I want him to still become my best friend. I want him to still have time to me. I want him to still become older brother-figure to me. Wait a minute, that was three. Yeah, and I want him to always remember me although if I disappear one day. Even though just my name.